Adam Kleiner

I edit the web site www.elevateyourhealthco.com.

This month we’re running a package of men’s health stories. Lots of good stuff. One of the articles, written by your’s truly, was inspired by the boy: 35 health tips for new dads.

For example, tip No. 5 from the piece:

Fan the baby’s room.A 2008 Kaiser Permanente research study found infants sleeping in bedrooms with fans ventilating the air had a 72 percent lower risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome compared to infants sleeping in bedrooms without fans.

What would you add to the list?

8:30 p.m.: Eli is wide awake more than an hour after his normal bed time. We’re not surprised. Little guy slept almost the whole stretch from Denver to Aspen, so we’re not thinking too hard about it. Pack ‘n Play is set in the darkest corner of our luxurious room at The Little Nell. Thermostat reads 72 degrees. 5-star comfort.

9:00 p.m.: Rima’s hungry. I head to the market across the street to find something for dinner, and I fully expect a challenge. Rima’s not eating dairy because Eli has cradle cap. Apparently her dairy consumption nets him a scaly scalp.

9:14 p.m.: At some point between my leaving to and returning from the market, Eli goes down…. And he wakes up. He’s not happy.

9:20 p.m.: Eli nurses.

9:35 p.m.: Turkey sandwich stripped of cheddar plus tortilla chips.

10(ish) p.m.: Down goes Eli.

10:20 p.m.:And…. He’s awake again. Rima suspects he’s still hungry, so she brings him into bed.

2:30 a.m.:Eli wakes up groaning like a trucker in a Flying J stall. “Did you change any poopie diapers today?” Rima asks.

I hadn’t, and neither had she. Eli’s constipated.

4 a.m.: More groaning from the little guy. I attempt to soothe him by dancing with him and humming “Wonderful Tonight.”

6 a.m.: The alarm sounds. I’m the only one who hears it. Dismiss.

7:15 a.m.: Eli’s awake. The room comes to life. He may have wet the bed.

“I was selling timeshare for Marriott, but the market tanked. Cab company was the only one hiring. I had a good driving record, so… here I am.”

“It’s a hard job. Don’t kid yourself. I drive 4 a.m. to 4 p.m., sitting here all day. But at least I don’t have a manager breathing down my neck.”

“You make better money driving at night, but then you have to put up with drunks and people vomiting in your cab.”

“The pace is finally getting back to normal.”

“I just try to get my customers where they’re going as quickly and cheaply as possible.”

“I can’t wait until they finish up Terminal 3. It’ll clean up a lot of this traffic.”

“Okay. Looks like $32.50.”

So I’m in the process of moving this website to WordPress from the excuse for a content management system I’ve counted on for the last six years.

Cue “The Jeffersons” theme song.